The Siren Song of Busyness
We’ve all been there. That email you feel obligated to answer at 10 PM. The Slack notification that pulls you away from dinner with your kids. We wear busyness like a badge of honor in modern business, don’t we? The assumption is that if you aren’t constantly juggling eight flaming chainsaws, you aren’t working hard enough. As someone who has managed teams, led sales efforts, and tried (often failing) to parent simultaneously, I’m here to tell you that this belief is fundamentally flawed.
It’s time we stop confusing activity with productivity, and start talking about presence.
Presence Isn’t About Being Physically Present
Think about your last one-on-one meeting. Were you truly listening, or were you rehearsing your response while subtly checking your watch? Were you focused on the employee telling you about their roadblock, or were you mentally calculating budget cuts?
I remember a junior manager early in my career. She was brilliant, but she was always rushed. In meetings, she’d interrupt people with solutions before they finished explaining the problem. Her team felt unheard. Why? Because she was physically present, but mentally miles away, likely already planning the next three meetings.
The Hidden Cost of Distraction in Management
Distraction doesn’t just waste time; it erodes trust—the bedrock of any high-performing culture. When you are distracted, you send a loud, clear message:
- “My phone is more important than you are.”
- “This problem isn’t worth my full attention.”
- “I don’t actually care about the details, just the outcome.”
This is deadly, especially when you’re trying to coach someone through a difficult sales negotiation or navigate a delicate cultural shift within the company. People need to know their leader is in the trenches with them, not hovering over the trenches while scrolling LinkedIn.
The Leadership Firewall: Setting Boundaries to Gain Focus
So, how do we stop this slide into perpetual partial attention? It starts with building a firewall around your focused time. This isn’t about working less; it’s about working smarter and deeper.
1. The Meeting Sacred Hour
I started implementing what I call ‘Sacred Hours’ for deep work—no notifications, no exceptions, unless the building is on fire. More importantly, I started treating my 1:1s the same way. I now explicitly state at the start of a check-in: “For the next 30 minutes, my laptop stays closed. Tell me what’s really going on.” That simple act of closing the machine forces both of us into the moment.
2. Redefining ‘Urgent’
In sales, everything feels urgent. In parenting, the small things often feel world-ending. In management, everyone needs something now. You have to be the gatekeeper. Most things are important, but few things are truly urgent. If you cultivate a culture where people know they can bring you problems, but they must respect your focused time blocks, they learn to triage their own needs better.
The Payoff: Better Sales, Stronger Culture, Happier Home
When you give your team or your child 100% of your attention for a defined period, the quality of interaction skyrockets. You catch the nuance in a client’s hesitation that a quick glance would miss. You spot the slight shift in an employee’s demeanor that signals burnout before it leads to resignation. And yes, when you finally walk in the door after work, you can actually listen to your kid talk about their day without mentally drafting tomorrow’s strategy memo.
True leadership isn’t about doing everything; it’s about doing the most important things with intention. Ditch the busyness badge. Start practicing presence. Your results—and your relationships—will thank you for it.
